


Find The Light

by hope_in_the_dark



Series: Big Plans and Little Additions [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Domestic, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Gen, M/M, kisses and happiness, lots of love, some cuddles, this is just. soft.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope_in_the_dark/pseuds/hope_in_the_dark
Summary: “Anthony, what are youdoing?”Skinny shoulders jumped in a shrug. “Looking at you.”--Crowley thinks that Ezra is beautiful and takes it upon himself to prove it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Big Plans and Little Additions [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485266
Comments: 43
Kudos: 223
Collections: Good Omens Human AUs





	Find The Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ineffablefool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/gifts).



> [Title from [Stargazing](https://youtu.be/7Le36EZ8aWs) by Kygo & Justin Jesso)]
> 
> Hello, reader friends! I'm back with a little lovey-dovey oneshot for this 'verse. It's set after they get together and say "I love you," but before they get engaged. However, it's not really necessary to have read TBLP to understand this fic - it's just a small fluffy oneshot, there's literally no plot other than Soft Domestic Happiness. Also, as always, I like to keep it nice and ace over here in this corner of the Internet. T rating is for language, because Crowley is Crowley.
> 
> This is for my ever-brilliant and ever-wonderful friend, [ineffablefool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/profile)! If you haven't read his fics, you really should. They're exceedingly well-written and soft, and they make things better. (P.S. Jack, I'm trying my hand at a Soft-Zone-esque fic. Me, not writing something even remotely angsty? Unheard of.)

Crowley was sitting cross-legged on Ezra’s bed with a horror novel lying open on his lap, and he was staring. He did that, sometimes, stared at Ezra with a soft crooked smile on his pretty lips, like Ezra was a sunset or a galaxy or something else far more beautiful than Ezra considered himself to be. It always made Ezra shiver. He hadn’t yet gotten used to it, and he wasn’t sure that he ever really would.

“Really, darling,” Ezra chided gently, pulling back the covers on his side of the bed and slipping underneath them. “You must stop staring at me, I’ll get an ego.”

“You should,” Crowley said. “Should definitely have an ego. Should know that you’re the- the fucking most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my whole damn life.”

Ezra’s cheeks flushed red and hot. He hadn't quite figured out what to do when Crowley said things like that; he knew that they weren’t true, because he knew that they couldn’t be, but Crowley said them so earnestly that it was easy to forget the truth.

So Ezra said, “Oh, _please_ ,” but he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Crowley’s sharp cheekbone.

“I’m serious.” Crowley’s smile had slipped into a little half-frown, and one of his hands crept over to rest on top of the blankets over Ezra’s knee.

Ezra laughed at that. “Yes, okay. If you say so.”

Crowley’s frown deepened, throwing little lines across his forehead. His hand tightened on Ezra’s knee, and he twisted around so that he was kneeling on the bed facing Ezra. Mismatched eyes were flicking over every curve and divot in Ezra’s face, tracing the unruly fluff of curls in search of some unnamed thing.

“I do say so,” Crowley said softly. “I do.”

Looking Crowley in the eyes quickly became too much. There was a sort of softness there, a warm kind of light behind blue and gold and brown, and it was blinding. So Ezra dropped his gaze to his hands, feeling the blush in his cheeks spread to every inch of skin on his face, neck, and ears.

“I know that I’m not…” Ezra stopped, still staring at his hands. “I don’t look the way that people say I ought to, and I know that. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with how I look - I’m not, I’m perfectly content as I am - but, well. Let’s just say that I’m aware that I don’t exactly line up with the socially accepted standards of beauty.”

“Societal standards are bullshit,” Crowley said flatly. “Total fucking bullshit. Made by people who, I dunno, don’t have eyes? People who’re- who’re dumb. Dumb and blind.”

Ezra laughed again, slightly higher and tighter than before.

“Fuck.” Crowley ran a hand through his hair, pushing the dark waves into strange shapes. “You don’t think- okay. Okay. How can I- you can just _say_ stuff, but I don’t know how to- okay.” Crowley climbed over Ezra’s legs and slid out of bed in a jumble of wiry arms and legs. He held out a hand expectantly, and Ezra took it.

Crowley pulled Ezra to his feet, and then he stepped back and smiled.

“Anthony, what are you _doing_?”

Skinny shoulders jumped in a shrug. “Looking at you.”

Ezra had the fleeting thought that maybe this was what people’s bodies felt like in the moments before spontaneous combustion, but before he could think about it for too long, Crowley moved forward and took both of Ezra’s hands in his.

“You’re beautiful, Ezra.” It was soft and slow, every letter of every syllable of those three words said intentionally, every shaking breath afterward full of adoration.

“Thank you.”

Crowley moved even closer, pressed his palms even more tightly to Ezra’s, and bent forward so that his lips rested against the top of Ezra’s head. And then Crowley shook his head, a quick back and forth, and he dropped Ezra’s hands as he moved away again.

“Can I-” Crowley was searching Ezra’s face again, his long fingers playing some invisible instruments at his sides. “Can I, erm, show you?”

“Show me?”

“I’m not like you are with words, so I don’t know that I can _tell_ you all of this stuff that’s in my head without fucking it up. But maybe I can show you? Y’know, hold you, kiss you, point out things I- things I love. If you’d be okay with it.”

Ezra’s heart felt like it had swelled inside of his chest, crushing itself against his lungs and making it hard for him to take a deep enough breath to respond. Finally, he managed a nod, and Crowley’s handsome face split into a wide grin.

Crowley’s hands reattached themselves to Ezra’s, and he lifted Ezra’s arms into the air.

“Like your hands,” Crowley mumbled, bringing their linked fingers to his lips and pressing gentle kisses to every knuckle. “Pretty. Soft.”

He moved his hands up the outer curve of Ezra’s arms, pressing gentle lines into the fabric of Ezra’s sleep shirt. They landed on Ezra’s biceps, and Crowley gave them a squeeze.

“Love your arms. Strong, but soft. Nice.”

Crowley’s arms went around Ezra’s body, tucked in the gap between his waist and his chest as they wrapped around to the back. Slowly, almost reverently, Crowley bent over to press a kiss to the top of Ezra’s shoulder.

“Good for sleeping,” he said with a small curl of his lips. “Love ‘em.”

Big delicate hands stroked the ridges and planes of Ezra’s back in an up-and-down motion, sending shivers down Ezra’s spine.

Crowley huffed a tiny laugh into the side of Ezra’s neck. “Beautiful.”

The hands stilled, every millimeter pressed against Ezra’s back, and then they slid toward the curves of Ezra’s waist.

“Think I was made to hold you here,” Crowley said so quietly that it sounded like he hadn’t quite meant to talk out loud. “My hands, they- they fit.”

They _did_ fit, Ezra realized. Crowley’s hands were exactly the right size for Ezra’s hips; his palms pressed against the swell of Ezra’s belly, and his fingers were just long enough to sit on the edges of Ezra’s back.

“Oh,” Ezra breathed, suddenly feeling quite out of his depth. How long had Crowley been thinking about this? How long had he known this, that they fit together like this? How long had Crowley loved this part of him?

How long had Crowley loved him?

The hands that fit against Ezra’s waist shifted down, resting against the softness of Ezra’s belly. With a motion that couldn’t have been described as anything other than a caress, Crowley’s thumbs brushed the hem of Ezra’s shirt up and came to rest against Ezra’s skin.

“I, uh. I like when I can hold you from behind, put my arms here, my hands here. It’s- you’re _beautiful_. You’re perfect.”

Ezra knew that there were pale lines there, stretch marks that crawled upwards like vertical tiger stripes. He knew that Crowley could feel them, too, with the way that his thumbs were stroking the tiny patch of skin there. But Crowley didn’t care about them, didn’t think they were a flaw or something bad. He was touching them, adoring them, _loving_ them. Calling them perfect. Calling _Ezra_ perfect.

Ezra knew, then, that Crowley believed everything that he was saying. He believed that Ezra was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He was proving it now, and if Ezra had been paying attention, he’d have seen that Crowley had been proving it for as long as they’d known each other. All of those little glances that had once been hidden behind dark glasses, every seemingly idle brush of Ezra’s shoulders, every time that Crowley’s hand slipped into his or landed on his hip… all of those had been _this_. All of those had meant “You’re beautiful,” and “I like how you are,” and “Let me show you.”

It was a good thing that Crowley was holding onto him, really, because Ezra was certain that without that support, he’d have fallen over. The depth of his love for Crowley was rolling over him in waves, shutting out all other thoughts and making his knees weak.

Ezra had loved Crowley for long enough now that he’d thought he’d gotten used to it. But Crowley, apparently, had taken it upon himself to prove that this was something that Ezra would spend the rest of his life getting used to.

Crowley’s thumbs let Ezra’s shirt fall back into place, and then he moved impossibly closer and wrapped Ezra up in his long arms. His thin body went mostly still, coming to a rest with his hands and arms and chest pressed against as much of Ezra as he could reach. Holding him, letting the two of them just _be_. Letting them be together, letting them be happy, letting them exist motionless in a world that was spinning inside of a galaxy that was turning inside of a universe that was expanding. And it was almost silent, too, in a way that felt warm instead of cold. It was the perfect kind of quiet that allowed Ezra to feel Crowley’s heartbeat pound across layers of skin and bone and beat within his own chest, and Ezra loved it. He let Crowley hold him, and he let himself be held, and he waited for Crowley to move again.

When the movement came, it was small. A soft kiss to the side of Ezra’s neck, to the curls behind his ear, to the rounded corner of his jaw. Crowley kept pressing kisses to Ezra’s face, each one precise and gentle. The center of his forehead, the tops of his eyebrows, the bridge and tip of his nose. Crowley was making a constellation of sorts, an ordered set of kisses that made the image of his love, and Ezra didn’t know how to respond other than to stand still and let his body start to shake.

Two landed at the corners of Ezra’s eyes. “Smile lines,” Crowley said simply, and kissed them again.

The tops of Ezra’s blush-reddened cheeks got kisses as well, as did his chin and the deep dimple on the right side of his face.

“Like it when you smile at me,” Crowley said, nuzzling his nose into Ezra’s hairline. “So pretty. So fucking pretty.”

A little whimpering noise flew out of Ezra’s throat, and Crowley pulled back, eyebrows pulling together in concern.

“You okay? Should I stop, do you want me to stop?”

“Kiss me,” Ezra said by way of answer, sounding as desperate and breathless as he felt. “Kiss me, please - I can’t- you have to-”

Crowley did. His lips were on Ezra’s in an instant, just as soft and adoring and confident as they’d been when they landed everywhere else. Ezra kissed him back, putting the hands that Crowley had called pretty to good use in Crowley’s hair and using those softly strong arms to pull Crowley’s face even closer.

They stopped after a few long moments, their noses resting against each other. Ezra could feel Crowley’s breath on his skin, could practically hear the shape of the smile that he knew was stuck on Crowley’s lips.

“I love you,” Ezra said, forcing his voice to be steadier than it wanted to be. “My dear, my darling, my beautiful wonderful man, I _love_ you.”

“Love you, too.” Crowley didn’t say it as often as Ezra did, so it sent frissons of electricity through Ezra’s whole body every time. He remembered what it sounded like when Crowley had stuck it at the end of a laugh, when it had been rough with sleep in the middle of the night, when it had been mumbled into Ezra’s chest during one of Crowley’s afternoon naps. Ezra loved the way that Crowley said those words, loved that he could feel them take root and bloom inside of his chest. He loved watching Crowley’s lips wrap around those letters, loved the way that Crowley could never keep himself from smiling the whole way through it.

So, because he wanted to and because he could and because he thought his chest might cave in if he didn’t, Ezra said it again.

“I love you.”

When Crowley kissed Ezra again, he was smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hope-inthedark)!
> 
> Also, if you would like to make any sort of creative work (art, podfic, whatever) based on this or any of my stories, consider this blanket permission to do so! I only ask that you would tag me in your work so that I can see it and share it! Thank you for being here, and thank you for reading. I hope you are having the best day!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Find The Light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552428) by [ineffablefool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/pseuds/ineffablefool)




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